I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
