so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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