so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize