I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
