the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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