Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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