spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
