i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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