Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
this just has baby written all over it
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
