I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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