my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
