she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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