At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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