i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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