That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
