I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
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I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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