I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
