I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
