I didn't shave. On purpose
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
