i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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