The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
