Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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