if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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