you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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