Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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