1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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