grandma shit on top of the toilet
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
