I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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