Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
zippers are such a cool invention
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Floor bacon is actually really good
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
