Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
