Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
