he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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