Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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