Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize