whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
