All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
