She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
