Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
