I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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