just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
