you guys were way drunker than both of me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
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she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
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Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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