shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
