She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
