Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
