Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
operation harelip BJ is a go
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
