wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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