Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
