I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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