Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize