ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
