it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Enjoy the penises
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
