OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
