We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
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I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
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You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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