i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Fuck appropriateness.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
