im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
