Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
