That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
