Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
