RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
