I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
