so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
