Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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