yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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