So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
