I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
