Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
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He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
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Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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