she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
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