So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize