He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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