just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.