i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome