Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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