he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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